That feeling

There are certain moments that you would never want to change. They remain frozen in a time and place where you revisit frequently in the days that follow. Your mind echoes the words spoken to you, your heart remembers every detail, as though through a veil that softens the world around you. Your first date, your first performance, that sense of rush as you prepare for something so huge. The anticipation builds and builds until finally all you can do is hope for the climax you have dreamed for.

Convocation Thursday was that and so much more. I loved every minute of it and it went by in one giant whirl. God answered my prayers by giving me the perfect morning. Each detail was set in place and I remember everything from waking up to go to the hairdresser's to coming home and slipping into that dress picked out by my mom.

I remember floods of people, seeing my colleagues again - most of whom I haven't seen in a month - catching up with everyone, seeing what everyone has planned, walking through those doors during the procession and passing by my cambridge professor, my seminar supervisor and of course, my supervisor in his large funny hat (he received his PhD from York). I would not give up those first smiles and exchanges of congratulations, as you pass them and through the door, for anything. Something special shared, a knowing and most encouraging look. I cannot even describe how it affected me. Their joy and notes of congratulations, their hugs and handshakes and wonderful exchanges meant and means so much to me. These are the people whom I have admired, who have been on my heart, my teachers, my mentors, and now my friends. That was my favorite moment, one of the best moments.

I wish I could poignantly put down every moment, every feeling. Instead, I can only approach what happened that day, make a gesture towards it. That moment, that day, for the next little while becomes a reference point from which you mark the next few days of the week. Even so, normal life continues on, and there are other things to look forward to, other things to give thanks for and to work towards. Only three months until England. Here I come.

Posted on June 11, 2005 at 10:15AM