9:12 pm

Coming into Edmonton early last monday, I was excited to see how my life would unfold before me. Still awkwardly trying to move into a regular working schedule, I have found myself coming home in the evenings, running errands - yesterday to the grocery market and today to the post office - taking a shower and eating a late dinner. The phone has been ringing and while I appreciate it, there's a large part of me that's been very reclusive lately. My mom calls lots and my best friends and people from Edmonton keep the phone busy. My cousin called from Calgary today and took the time to ask how I was doing; I just felt so bad for not trying really hard to keep the conversation going. Lately I've felt just so quiet. Ideas aren't flowing and I feel as if I just need time to rest and be by myself. Of course, this doesn't mean that I don't want people not to call; I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is more for myself than anyone else. I need to make time for me and God to just sit down and have a one-on-one. I can't keep pushing aside devotions and quiet time by trying to keep busy. I have this yearning inside to be still and quiet but I can't and it's frustrating.