Thursday, 11 September 2008

Week 6, Cambridge

James, chapter 4, verse 6:

But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."

Tonight marks the end of week 6 of 8 in Cambridge and I can't believe that Lent term is almost at its end. If you had asked me where I wanted to be four weeks ago, or how I was finding the program, I would've hesitated a bit before answering. "It's different," I would've said.

And it's true. The program here is very different, and I have found it difficult and trying at times. I'm reading what I wrote in my last entry and I remember the feeling of freedom the morning after. My best friend had asked, "but is it the program? do you not love what you do? or is it just merely the form and not the content?" Walking to the library that morning, I knew that I still loved it - every bit of it and that the answer was "yes. this is what I want to do." And I think in realizing that the structure of the course was temporary, that this place was temporary, I was able to appreciate things a lot more, taking the good with the unfamiliar, learning to understand both.

Three weeks have passed since then and God has taught me so much. I am often slow to react to change and so am also quite scared at the beginning. And I think He knows that. He knows me.

I love Cambridge and I love the beauty and spirit of it. It has taken me a while to get re-adjusted, but I have learned so much from my colleagues and friends; I have learned so much from my pastor, from God himself. The thing that marks this week though - and I will not try to hide it - is a supervision I had yesterday. Without going into all the details, I will just say that God really does humble the proud, but in doing so, does not destroy all hope. But then there are the moments where He will just surprise you and remind you of how much He loves you, how much He remembers all the little things that you need. He just wanted you to look to Him first.

I met my supervisor at his college (Christ's) yesterday. Opening the door, he smiled and invited me in and I sat on that same college couch by the fire. The windows were open and the sky was so blue. Everything was the same: the oak panelling, the overflowing bookshelves, the paper mosaic on the floor. He seemed relax, friendly, and we had a really good chat. We went over my first coursework, comments which surprised me as he explained the Cambridge system and what to expect, then talked about my bibliography project and finally my dissertation. We spent an hour going over things and at the end, he still asked me whether there was anything I would like to talk to him about. It felt wonderful to have someone speak so honestly about my work:

"I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense am I? Let me find it in my notes. I can't find it," I fumbled.

"But you tend to do that now don't you? Look at your notes when you talk to me. I want to talk to you, but it's hard to have a conversation with your notes. They're elegant and yet sort of cryptic and paradoxical. You will say something wonderful but pass on by it when I want to explore it. Don't look at your notes, just talk to me."

I put down my notes and looked at him straight, "okay."

"Is what I said fair?"

"Yes. It's fair. Thank you."

And then I started talking and the words just poured out.

One hour later, we had worked out a plan for the next few weeks. I was in a rut, he joked I was in a groove, and by the end he suggested that the best thing for me to do (to get out of the rut) was just to start writing. My textual bibliography project is due in two weeks and then paper 2 about five weeks after that. In between then, I will try to string some dissertation ideas together in a brief (I suggested 1500, he told me that 3000 would be fine) essay. Milton - the college cat - came in just as we finished our meeting. And then we talked about the dreadful English cold that we've been experiencing lately. I proceeded to point out that it was nothing compared to having your snot freeze when you breathe in Canada. He laughed and we talked some more.

It's been quite a ride this term. And I had been warned to expect as much. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. My medic friends are all over the world now on their electives - chicago, boston, miami, australia, nigeria; and many of the other phD students are doing their field work in turkey or rome. I do miss them. But I know that another 7 weeks will fly by just as fast and soon we will all be in Easter term and God will bless us with even more sunshine and blue skies.

Have I mentioned the beautiful purple flowers that have sprouted all over ground at Trinity? I love walking to the UL via Queen's road. The mist is something breathtaking in the morning.

Posted on March 1, 2006 at 04:20PM

1 comment:

novice said...

-----
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Chin Hwa
EMAIL:
awesome! would love to hear more about how sup went!
-----
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: andrea
DATE: 03/02/2006 03:20:41 AM
hahaha...the bit about the snot is SO TRUE!! :)
-----
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: tru
DATE: 03/02/2006 09:09:05 PM
haha...i know eh andy? OH CANADA...

Blog Archive