To a Close

I'm taking today off to finish my laundry and pack the necessary things I'll be needing in Edmonton. I'll be going there for a week only to return on the twenty-fourth to prepare for my friend's wedding. I feel okay.

I haven't written in a while and I think it's because I haven't exactly figured out what or where my life is right now. To write well, in my opinion, is to know the author, to know from whose perspective you're writing from. At present, I'm a little lost on that question.

These past few weeks have been amazing in the way that life hasn't stopped to let me breathe. It's forced me to live constantly on the run, to enjoy rather than to think about the things happening to and around me and it has encouraged me to step outside of my self-defined bubble; life has essentially allowed me to live.

Going back to Edmonton this time around, it feels a little uncertain. Quieter perhaps - but different. When I first moved up at the beginning of the summer, nearly half of my extended family was there. We did everything together and we supported each other in our struggle to care for my grandma. She's gone now and it'll feel a bit weird not having to travel to the hospital each day or spend nights at each other's houses or restaurants talking, eating and just enjoying each other's company. People put their lives on hold at the beginning of this summer and in those two months, it felt so good to live in a network of people to whom you belonged. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and go your separate ways; it's time to return to who you were before you lived soley for someone else and I haven't quite figured how I feel about that yet.

Maybe it'll be good. Maybe it won't. But regardless, it's necessary, just like how my socks need drying now. There are things in life you just can't stop to think about because in order to have a future, you need to start moving now.

Posted on July 15, 2004 at 01:49PM by trudyko | 2 Comments