There is the person who you want to be, and then the person who you are. It's funny how the two can be in such disharmony, grown so disjunct in a span of a few weeks. And yet there are moments, nights like these, where God enables you to encounter servants of His who are full of His life, a life that is full of His blessing, not in material ways or things, but in the pure simplicity of His presence. I cannot begin to express how much I want that, how clearly I can see the road He has planned for me, and how much I fall short of that plan.
I am not a socially eloquent girl by any means. It is often difficult for me to speak, and inevitably I end up stuttering or losing my place in sentences. This is who I am. This is the lot I have been given. We are all given certain thorns or hindrances in our personalities and lately I have been thinking that perhaps we are given these not only because they make us human but because - just as a blind man can hear better or feel more intensely - such thorns enhance the gifts God has given us, the gifts that somehow define us.
And perhaps that is how we are to perceive them: these inadequacies draw us near to the Lord not only by making us realize our incompleteness without Him, but also by somehow enhancing or affecting our strengths.
1 comment:
AUTHOR: Clarissa
DATE: 07/16/2005 05:27:31 PM
I could have written this post myself, tru. I totally know what you mean by who we want to be and who we actually are. It is always good to be encouraged by our brothers and sisters, but it's also amazing to know that they are also encouraged by us too. Trudy, you were my encouragement last night. You were that servant of His who is full of His life, a life that is full of His blessing, not in material ways or things, but in the pure simplicity of His presence. Even if sometimes we dont feel as close to God as we would like, I think He can still use us to encourage others. Thanks for your sharing, Trudy. You're such a great girl, and I think this blog is such a gift. =)
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