first day jitters

'Tru, do you realize what happened? After all that worrying, all your hard work, all the prayers, and stress, you'll be staying. What a gift that is from God. And it sucks cuz i think part of it is the fact that there's no one really around to celebrate with you, to just make you realize that it's real, you've done it! So, thought it's going to be late, during Christmas, you and me will head to Towa and we'll do some real celebrating k? I'll remember =)'

I really love my girls. And these are the times where I wish they were here with me or I could be where they are. This year, we have all been on one side or the other; with Candice's engagement, Desiree's comp and the beginning of her clinical years, Andrea's new condo and the SOA, all were such milestones.

People say that best friends are those whom you don't have to see or talk to for years, get together with and feel as if no time has passed. That may be true, but I have been blessed with another kind. I have been so privileged to experience a best-friendship that has been built on pain-staking effort to walk through life together no matter the distance. These are the people who know to the hour - and sometimes to the minute and second - the events that are unfolding in my life and how I feel about them. They know nearly every tear and joy, every frustration and confusion that life is made up of.

Three years ago, when Candice was accepted into the occupational therapy program at the U of A, she explained to me, 'This is how I define it. I think for us, it means that we will know exactly what is going on in each other's lives when anyone asks us. We will always know'. Wise words. I don't think I fully understood it then, because the concept seemed so simple, the definition easy. But that's the deceptive part. Because to actually live out those words is so much harder than you would imagine.

I sat down to write an entry about my fears and insecurities for this year. I wanted to write what Hemingway calls 'true sentences' and instead have written down rather messy ones. It doesn't matter though for these are unadulterated and more hopeful thoughts. We can always entertain dark clouds another day. For now, though, waking up to emails like that one above (everyone has been so encouraging, so genuine and kind), and entries like Dez's, and Andrea's 'here! here!' is a blessing that I'm thankful to have this first day.

Posted on October 4, 2006 at 05:16AM