Applause

In the past few weeks, one of my best friends has taken all her life lessons and grown up. Reading her entries has not only been inspiring but it's moved something deep within me and revealed a dark area of life that I knew always existed but never wanted to admit.

Taking a good look at "where we come from" and "how we are programmed," I have in my life, my own determinants. Unlike her, however, I have yet to trace them back, even partially. I admire her specificity and her honesty but I don't think that I'm ready to take such daring steps. As in a previous entry, I find myself writing only the vaguest of things, revealing only the deepest of feelings but not supplying them with enough material to subscribe to being exposed.

I will say this, however, and step in front of the veil I hide behind: just as she has an "innate thirst for knowledge, ...research and learning, but...is limited by an equally inherent...tendency to skim over things," I have an innate fear of fading completely into the background. Some days - most days - I fear that people will see that the things I have made distinct about myself are things that anyone can achieve, if they put their heart to it. In spite of everything, I want to applaud the girl who took a heavy beating not too many days ago, but who also rose to the challenge, dedicated her heart and earned my applause.