And Next?

There's a verse in the Bible (Matthew 6) that speaks to those of us who worry about the future. In a few words, Jesus basically tells us that we can only focus on today for that is what lies before us: "Today's trouble is enough for today" (Matt 6:34) he says.

I've been thinking recently about what's coming up next. I find myself waiting in anticipation and yet hesitant to open the mailbox each day coming home. More and more I find that everyone is walking his or her own life with or without a partner and that it's time for me to find that path too. Where will it be? I'm not sure. All I know is that there is nothing left for me in Calgary. People are distant, and sometimes travelling along this dusty road can get a little lonely (humanly speaking of course).

I recently met a girl in my Performance class who is incredibly attractive. No, not in that gross way, but attractive in the way that she has this life force within her. A Master's student, she took a year off after her undergrad to go treking by herself around all of Australia, New Zealand and the Fiji islands. With just a backpack on her shoulders and a plane ticket from her parents (who love and support her very much I might add), she took 8 months to explore what was out there. Hearing stories about the good and the bad, I thought to myself: "this is what being an adult means." I never understood it before but now when I think of it, I can tangibly put a face to it, describe it.

When I think of adults, I think "capable"; I think "self-sufficient"; I think "independence." What a scary and liberating thought at the same time. There is something so inspiring about that passage into adulthood and yet, when I look down that road - and having tasted it in my first few weeks of turning 21 - I can see that it can get pretty lonely too, being that independent. It's not a choice, it just happens; it's a frame of mind. You grow, you change and one day you wake up a different person with real life goals and a different purpose. You lament for the times where you found yourself as a child, as a teenager, and wonder how the adult world will treat you, how you will respond. Things change, people change. Everything is reconfigured. So let us not worry about tomorrow for indeed, "Today's trouble is enough for today." What a ride.