In the past two years, it seems as though each birthday has carried significant weight and change. I literally "felt" the turn from 19 to 20 and this year - turning 21 - I was finally allowed to begin to understand something that I had searched for for a very long time.
Most recently, I received news of two things and both have left me quiet and unsure of how to react. Of course, there's the reaction that you think you should be experiencing, that people are expecting, and then there is that confused silence deep down in your heart. You always knew the day would come - in both instances I'm speaking of here - but you never knew how much it would come as surprise or how much it would change you. No, not drastic, earthshaking change; rather - just like how turning 21 is a frame-of-mind maturity - this too ages you. Another notch on that belt we like to call life. Change means you've moved. Change means you need to re-evaluate, reassess, and re-confirm the path that you're on. No easy solutions. A means to an end.
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