They Pass by

About a week ago, I responded to a entry my best friend wrote. Reflecting on her past four years at university, she - of course :) - related herself to a Greek myth:

"Cursed with the having to push a gigantic boulder up a hill each day, only to have it roll down and render his toil meaningless....Sisyphus still does it. Everyday, he rolls that boulder up the hill even though he knows it's going to come back down. He keeps going because the alternative, not trying, is even worse."

I was upset at the end of last week. Fraught with the increasing amount of work and becoming impatient with the doddling university results, there were times when I felt like giving up, like it was just all too much.

These days I'm finding it a lot better. Sure, the work is the same if not even heavier and yet, coming out of two meetings yesterday - one with my supervisor regarding my first draft - and another with a professor concerning the problem of "universals" - I was very very excited. This line of work is such a rush. It gets the adrenaline pumping, the heart beating, the whole nine yards.

It was nice enough to sit outside yesterday and so, with the sun in a perfect place in the afternoon, I sat writing notes while waiting for a lunch date. One of the big highlights yesterday was bumping into a classmate I've long admired and respected. It was amazing talking to him, just sharing the utter geekiness that is English. Gushing over new theory words and concepts and affirming each other in our projects, in grad school paths, and in our not being able to imagine doing anything else, we talked about how cool it will be ten, twenty years from now, to read the books we write, to see what line of speciality we choose. I had so much fun. I guess all that leads me to where I am at right now and how it is a place of slight uncertainty. There is so much I want from life, and so much that I can picture and imagine. But that's all what? ten, twenty years from now? I can hardly imagine what the next five will be, the next three. Or, to an even more uncertain extent - what the next year will be like.