The 'Redemption' post has been the frontispiece of this blog for too long - well, two weeks to be exact. I feel like I need to fill in the holes between then and now, but that would take too long so I'll just say that things are better if not resolved. I think God restores our faith through people - people that we meet, through friends who go out of their way to meet you where you are, through family who love you no matter what. When one is implicated in such a network, it is difficult to stay down for too long. I'm really grateful for that. Thank you guys. Here's an illustration that if I had the chance to make a movie, would show itself in a split screen moment: (in chronological order) - best friend #1: calling at 4 am to tell me she loves me, best friend #2 writing TWO (may I stress that) TWO long emails full of her wisdom and kindness; best friend #3 coming home from Thailand and immediately making overtures to talk and check up on me. Moments like those are rare and yah, these are my girls.
Well, this week has been a bit of a write-off to say the least. It's also been a bit wrought with anxious thoughts about the future which I've been pushing aside. I handed in my supervision piece to my advisor on Wednesday and have been struggling to design an 'Introduction to the Renaissance' course I've been asked to teach the second week of July. Designing a course from scratch is hard. It's particularly difficult when you're teaching younger students who have no background knowledge of the period. I have a theory about the relationship between how much a supervisor/teacher needs to know and the level of skill of the student. They're not proportional; they have an inverse relationship - at least to a point. The less a student knows or the less skill a student has, the greater the teacher needs to be. The teacher needs to know his or her material SO well they he or she can be flexible. The greatest teachers are those who make any task seem easy - or at least attackable. One day I hope to be such a teacher.
So there's that. Then there's the conference paper I need to write. Both of these things need to be done in the next two days (which they won't) since I'll be in the states for the next two weeks. Factor in days of recuperation, people scheduled to visit Cambridge on the weekend I come back, a trip to London, and then family arriving on the following weekend, and I have no time. By the time my family arrives, time will sweep right into the conference and then immediately into that teaching week. I definitely need grace here.
And it's funny because you would think that I would be stressed out of my mind and running around doing all these things. I've tried. I've been trying to design the course but I just keep hitting a wall. Work is so slow and my evenings have been incredibly lazy. Why this is I have no idea. No deep thoughts are coursing through my mind. I'm winding down when I should be winding up. I'm apprehensive about the trip to D.C. I think I may be so overwhelmed that my brain has just gone into shutdown mode in order to survive. *Shrug*. But no excuses right?
This is definitely not a well-formed or literary post. But it's a brain fart :)
8 hours until the Mays Anthology launch party tonight. 12 hours until chat with best friend. 1 day until last bible study of the season. 2 days until chats with best friends. 2 days until bbq with Chris and Barbara. 3 days until supervision and teaching meeting. 4 days until flight to D.C.
Summer 2008 begins.
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