silence is power. and in any given conversation, the person who is most reticent has the most power. interpersonal relationships are so intriguing and they're also painful, especially when you're the one in the wrong.
it takes every ounce of me not to run/phone/write to try to fix things. it takes so much energy to step away and give space. so much of me just wants things to be okay. but that's the thing. it's the selfish thing to do isn't it? to make things okay?
i'm going to have to turn grey's anatomy here for a moment and cite what i take to be a pretty poignant moment:
after denny's death, and miranda's verbal beating at the m & m meeting, the interns tried to say sorry. and she wouldn't let them. she said: 'oh no, you don't get to feel better about this.'
it's true. when we say sorry and when the other person forgives, or responds even, it's like this huge weight is lifted off of our chests. it's that 'out'. i don't get to feel good about this. and i'm trying to accept that that's okay. and it's the hardest thing to walk away and just live with what you said/did, even if you didn't mean it in the way that it was taken.
1 comment:
AUTHOR: can
DATE: 10/30/2006 02:20:39 AM
in the same boat tru. it's hard =)
COMMENT:
AUTHOR: Linds
DATE: 10/31/2006 10:46:03 PM
Hi, Tru- I don't know the situation here so please just ignore me if what I say is out of place. I was just wondering if giving the other person the opportunity to forgive could also be valuable for both of you. It may feel like the easy way out for you, but it might help them to cultivate a heart that is ready to forgive. Sorry if this is irrelevant. I'm praying for peace and courage for you. Love, Linds
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