I guess there's some stuff that's been going on inside of me lately that I'm not sure of. I'm kind of confused as to where these things are all stemming from but I hope that maybe this summer things will iron out, or that when people come back and summer happens, things will become a little clearer.
I do miss my friends but I guess the feeling is that you just need to hear it sometimes. You don't know why but you just do. Sometimes you feel like you don't know where you stand anymore and I guess that's a little how I feel. Maybe things have changed or maybe I just need to be reminded. Sometimes you can't keep making excuses for other people, sometimes you just need to hear it, to be rest assured. The thing is, is that I know that most of these things are just inside of me, which is why I'm not frustrated or anything; just trying to work things out and taking a hands-off approach. I guess it's just that I need someone to approach me. I have reached out but it just keeps getting harder and harder and I know people are busy. I'm busy too. I just - ah - I don't know want I want.
I think that maybe a part of this is learning to just rely on yourself (aside from God). And the truth is, I have, for what I believe as 90% of this year. I truly do. But there are times where you just need a shoulder or ear. And not just any shoulder or ear, but specifically those closest to you, those whom you trust. I don't know why I need it right now, why I have been needing it for some time now. But I do, and I guess that's what I've been trying to figure out lately.
1 comment:
TRu,
It's JACK!!! I'm here. I know we've had tough times, and it's been hard for us to communicate. I know that we've been through many bumps and ironed them out together. I understand that I don't make up for others who are close to you, but KNOW first and foremost, God has never left you, and allows you to go through all the things you are feeling for a reason, and a purpose. Specifically, I think, so that you may grow and be mature and complete, not lacking anything. You know that you have a tendency to hang on to people, and when the people you're most used to, the people that you feel you can completely be yourself "around" are not around as much as you like, you feel like you've lost huge parts of yourself. But maybe God is saying, "this is where you need to change too Tru, and have other things that are fully constant from me that make 'you,' while still being connected to the people you love so dearly." Anyway, we'll for sure talk more later. I just have one more exam. Please feel free to call me though, or e-mail if you prefer. Are you free this week? We should go do something: shop, watch a movie, SLEEPOVER!!!!!!!!!!!! = ) Love you lots Tru! Jack~
April 27, 2004 | Unregistered Commenter Jack
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